Lifting those burdens and finding release

I was remembering a healing I had recently when I was praying this morning. It was one of those resolutions that sort of snuck in. Not sure why it was coming to thought today, except that I probably had not fully expressed gratitude and appreciation for it - which is important to do, I've found, for those good things that happen in life.

So here's what happened: A few week's ago, I was going to a meeting one evening. I had my purse - which in the winter seems to get bigger and heavier with stuff - and a canvas bag with folders for the meeting, a couple of books, etc., so kind of heavy. I remember shifting these both to my left hand as I walked along toward the buidling. As I looked at these bags in my hand, I thought, "Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't carry these two heavy things in one hand." Okay - yes - here's what started it, and I didn't think any further about this at the time, but went on into the building for the meeting.

As you may have guessed, not long into the meeting, my shoulder began to ache a bit, to start feeling stiff, somewhat inflexible. By the next morning, I could barely move the shoulder and arm except with quite alot of pain and discomfort. "Argh," I thought, "what did I do??" I remembered the two heavy bags and that niggling little thought I had when walking in for the meeting. And I knew I had to pray about this situation.

Which I did. I wasn't totatlly clear on what I needed to learn from this experience. Seemed like a few things to clarify in my thought! But I knew that whatever it was that I needed to learn about God, myself, and our relationship, it would heal this problem.

One thing stood out as obvious - that thought about how heavy the bags were and, at least unexpressed directly, that carrying them together like that could cause harm, it couldn't have been from God. He made me and all things to express Him. He is infinite Spirit, so I and all real creation express Him spiritually, and there is no weight to Spirit or spiritual things. So how could God tell me to be careful of how heavy something is and that it could harm me? He couldn't, and didn't, so I should have dismissed that suggestion right away. I didn't, but it wasn't too late! I could dismiss and reverse it right then. And I did.

But relief wasn't coming immediately. Okay, what else do I need to learn, Father?

Then I remembered a little situation I was facing. I was supposed to be helping organize an event for a group. It wasn't going in the direction I felt it should, or that seemed like the original intent. And I wasn't really being included in the process like I thought I should (Yeah, yeah. Boo hoo! Poor me, huh?? :). "Ah," I thought, "there's another type of burden I've been carrying around! Putting weight on me, making myself responsible for something." It got really clear as I considered this idea, that I wasn't responsible for this event, didn't really even have to have a hand in it - and I got really okay with this. I could let it go because it wasn't up to me - as always it was up to God. And I knew that the others who were working on this idea were good people, had good intententions, were striving to listen to God for the best way to bless all with this activity. So it all was in the best hands - God's.

I just felt so free and grateful for this insight! A real release of falsely-claimed responsibilities. And just more joyful.

I'm not sure if my shoulder followed in its release right away - might have been the next day. But it happened naturally and quickly, I know that. After about two days of stiffness and intense discomfort it was all gone. I barely remembered this all happened until a few days later, and then this morning. And I'm happy to feel that rush of gratitude for some deeper insights into God's presence and power that will surely continue to help along this path Spirit-ward.

I'm thinking this passage from Science and Health reflects some of what I was consdering in my prayers for this difficulty:

"The body seems to be self-acting, only because mortal mind is ignorant of itself, of its own actions, and of their results, — ignorant that the predisposing, remote, and exciting cause of all bad effects is a law of so-called mortal mind, not of matter. Mind is the master of the corporeal senses, and can conquer sickness, sin, and death. Exercise this God-given authority. Take possession of your body, and govern its feeling and action. Rise in the strength of Spirit to resist all that is unlike good. God has made man capable of this, and nothing can vitiate the ability and power divinely bestowed on man.

"Be firm in your understanding that the divine Mind governs, and that in Science man reflects God's government. Have no fear that matter can ache, swell, and be inflamed as the result of a law of any kind, when it is self-evident that matter can have no pain nor inflammation. Your body would suffer no more from tension or wounds than the trunk of a tree which you gash or the electric wire which you stretch, were it not for mortal mind." (393:4-24)