September 27, 2007

Infinite capabilities

When a friend emailed me this morning with her giant to-do list, hoping for some spiritual uplift to help her face this growing mountain, I realized that this was why one of my favorite quotes from Science and Health was bouncing around in my thought this morning. Here's the story about how it became a favorite...

I’d been working for an employer for a couple of years, essentially in the same position, though the focus of the work had changed during that time. I loved the work, loved working for my boss, but was feeling like I needed to grow in other ways. After a discussion with my boss, we agreed I’d start moving into a new position which included activities I was already doing for the team plus some other projects to manage. The key to this transition was that we had to find a replacement for my current role. I really did dislike the idea of giving up that position as I loved the work, but I really felt like I needed something more at that point. A few months went by and we were not coming up with a suitable candidate to fill my current position. So I tried to work both of these jobs, the primary challenge being that these activities needed work environments that were essentially opposites. My then current position was an “on demand” response sort of activity while the new role needed quiet and thought. I became frustrated as I wanted to do well at both, especially at this new role, but felt like I was failing each, and my boss.

One day I was really struggling with frustration over all of this and reached out to God more earnestly than ever. I’d been praying but still felt stuck and stymied. What I got from this yearning was this quote: "We are all capable of more than we do." (89:21-22) Well, I had to laugh - and did! Can you believe it?! God has such a great sense of humor! There I was, wanting to divest myself of things to do, and He's reminding me that I really can do more! And I'm capable of doing more, not just able. Here are some of the definitions for capable:

2 obsolete : COMPREHENSIVE
3 : having attributes (as physical or mental power) required for performance or accomplishment 4 : having traits conducive to or features permitting
5 : having legal right to own, enjoy, or perform6 : having or showing general efficiency and ability

Well, that laughter totally broke the mesmerized sort of feeling I was under induced by the feeling of burden. That feeling of being overwhelmed had kept me focused on feeling like I was overwhelmed and stopped me from seeing what was true - that, as God's reflection, as the expression of infinite Mind, I have “all the attributes required for accomplishment” and the “legal right to enjoy or perform.” I thanked God and was finally able to really pray about this issue, really open my thought and listen to what the divine Mind had to share.

My prayer then was, "Father, whichever role you want me to be in, that's what I'll do. If it’s this new activity, great. If it is staying where I've been and letting someone else take on the other, then I will be happy with that decision. What job do You want me to have?"

The answer I got was totally surprising - totally from left field! I distinctly heard this, "Person X's position."

I thought, "Yeah, right. Person X would never leave that job; it's perfect for Person X. Now, really, what do you want me to do?"

And I got the same answer, "Person X's job."

"Okay," I thought, "It would be a very good fit for me, and would mean doing something I'd love and have wanted to do, have studied about how to do, so would use my talents. But no way will Person X ever leave that spot. So, You figure it out, Father, and let me know."

So things continued for another month or two as they had been, except I felt at peace and was finding ways to work in both activities (One was just deciding that I was leaving work by 7 or 7:30 each evening. That way I could do the reading that I needed to do for the new position from the more quiet space of home. No phones ringing. No, "Hey, Bets, where's....").

Then one day my boss asked me talk to her in the conference room. The hairs literally stood up on the back of my neck! The way she phrased it, I knew something was up. It was a phrase we'd joked about a few times, that one should be a bit worried when your boss said this to you. Yikes! She’s saying it to me! So we sat down in the conference room, and guess what? She told me I was being asked to take Person X's position as Person X was being assigned to something new. I about fell over! Literally, I was reeling in my seat! Wow! God is awesome in how He works!

So the next few weeks were full to say the least as the transition was accomplished. I had to pass along activities from the new role I had been trying to take up, and, lo and behold, we never really did hire someone specifically for the old position! Another woman working on the team easily picked up the essential elements of that position. Another sentence from Science and Health added on to the one above as my guiding thought and prayer during the transition: "All is under the control of the one Mind, even God [variously inserting the different synonyms and qualities of God – such as Love, Truth, omniscience – as were needed by the moment]." (544:16-17)

I worked in this new position for about nine months, loving it and learning so much, and then new transitions came along. But the lesson about my capabilities – never limited – has stuck with me, thank Goodness!

No comments: